Sing Out, Small Voice
How I became the Interim Worship Leader
A Memory Recalled
I was finished with the tenth grade. It was now summer of eleventh grade and also the first time I ever went to the camp, Super Summer. And let me just say, Super Summer is the best! There are so many memories tied up with this camp for me, but I will only share one story this time, friends. Here we go!
It was day one and there were well over 100 students in my group, trying our hardest to know each other through awkward icebreaker games. After regrouping from failed attempts to remembers each other's names, we all settled in for our first Bible study. Instead of popping open the Word and finding a place to sit, our team leader came up to us, bear-hugging a six foot cross. He sat it down on the ground, leaned it against his side, and beganto speak. “From this point on, we will not go any further until we bring all of our sins to the cross”. His voice was mild but serious as he explained the power of Jesus Christ and His blood shed for our sins. After his talk, all 100+ of us students started walking around the campus, meditating on what to nail to the cross. After walking in a comforting silence, I remembered how serious everyone took this matter. When we made our way back to a stopping point, all the leaders passed out small pieces of paper. I don’t remember what I put on my paper but I remember thinking the small piece wasn’t big enough to fit every sin I carried with me to Super Summer. I was one of the first people to put my paper-confessed sins on the cross. When I found my way back to the huddle of the crowd, I turned back to face the cross. In the stillness of the moment, I felt this overwhelming sense of relief and fullfillment. The moment was so moving, I then felt a strong urge to sing" I Surrender All".
A Call to Action
The comfort of my current state suddenly erupted into an adrenaline rush as I would soon decide whether or not to break the silence with my nervous voice. Trying not to think too much about it, the first line spilled out, “all to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give”. Where did that come from, I thought to myself. Seeing no way to turn back, I muttered through the next verse, “I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live”. At this point, the nerves boiled up so much that my eyes became wells of water. I took a breath to start the chorus but did not know where the strength to continue would come from. And as the moment came, voices all around me started to join in. Soon enough, my voice was drowned out by the sounds of the others surrounding me. And in that solitary moment of expression, together in one sound, we lifted our voices to the One who set us free.
In Relation to The Now
I haven’t thought of this story in a long while. It has always been such a beautiful memory for me, but two months ago on Wednesday, August 1st, God put this memory heavy on my heart. It was as though He led me back there in order to extract it's relevance to my current situation. He made me lean in and remember why I happened to start singing. And as I replayed the Super Summer saga in my head I heard God say, “Jessie, this is worship”. To have this immense amount of positive pressure overflowing into worship of the God who saved me. I then recalled the perfect exchange of worship as others joined in after my failed attempt at a chorus. And then I heard God say, “Jessie, that’s worship leading”. When the sound of others drown out the sound of my own voice, singing in one accord to God. That following Saturday, I got a call from Bobby Hancock, the Pastor at Georgetown Baptist Church in Pottsboro. They were in need of an interim Worship Pastor. At that moment, I did not know what the job entailed or if they would even pick me, but I did know one thing- what worship and worship leading looked like.
A New Norm
I am now honored to say that I am the new Interim Worship Pastor at Georgetown Baptist Church. I left a full-time, long-term job for a temporary, part-time job in pursuit of where God is leading me. I feel so many overwhelming feelings of gratification and anxiety all at once most days. I feel like I could not POSSIBLY amount to being a Worship Leader, but here I am. Ready at each moment to be used for the glory of God. Lately,I am finding that how I worship directly relates to how well I know Jesus. It has been a beautiful, crazy ride, and I can't wait to see where else He takes me.
Talk to you soon Friend,